Some movies are bad. Other movies are astoundingly bad. Still others have hot broads. Guess which ones are the most fun to watch! A little eye candy never hurt anyone, especially in Hollywood. In a salute to hot chicks in bad flicks, here are ten horrible films that feature hot girls to ease the viewer’s pain. And yes, there will be pain. If you’d rather read about good movies, click here because you’re not going to find them on our list. But you will find plenty of hot babes! It’s a trade off.
#1
Jennifer Lopez in Gigli (2003)
In Gigli, a hit man kidnaps a mentally retarded person with a hot-as-nuts Latino ganstress at his side. Wow! Do I even need to make fun of this? We all know that Gigli is at the top of the list when it comes to terrible movies. Still, J-Lo is friggen hot. Plus, this was filmed pre-Mark “Quasimodo” Anthony. Think of the film as nothing more than a salute to form fitting jeans!
#2
Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Basic Instinct 2 is just like the original Basic Instinct, only without the writing, cinematography and original allure of its predecessor (and that‘s saying a lot). Also, no crotch shot. This isn’t surprising. Sequels are usually pretty terrible, for the most part (sorry, Star Wars and Godfather). Still, at least Sharon Stone looks like herself, and less like a caricature of herself (are you listening to me, Nicole Kidman? Botox is gross). She shows plenty of cleavage to keep a dude happy, so no one’s hitting “stop” on the DVD player.
#3
Paris Hilton in The Hillz (2004)
How can a film be misspelled with a “z” in the title and still be bad? Well, Paris Hilton (in her younger, less mantis-drag queen days) certainly helps. At 23, this “coming of age” (hah) Hollywood expose makes Paris the actress she is…which is not much of an actress at all. The Hillz is a melodramatic foray into both crime and privileged life (insert mind-boggling explosion here). It also has Paris…in lots of tiny, tiny bikinis.
#4
Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2 (1982)
Did anyone know that star Michelle Pfeiffer’s first film was a mediocre high school musical in which she plays a bad gansta girl with a boner for motorcycle men? Well, now you do. Pfeiffer is absolutely adorable in this Grease sequel, which is about the only adorable thing about the film. Really. The songs about “bowling” and “reproduction” have found a camp following, but so has Pfeiffer’s irresistibility, which is far more watchable.
#5
Katherine Heigl in Zyzzyx Road (2006)
If you’ve seen this, I’ll give you five bucks, which will earn you about as much money as this film made. A psychological thriller, Zyzzyx Road had a limited release which made the film approximately 30 bucks in earnings. Nice! Still, Heigl, an unknown at the time, is hot, young, and not Hollywood-ified yet, as far as I can tell. I’m talking 10 extra pounds in the right places, people!
#6
Talisa Soto & Bridgette Wilson in Mortal Kombat (1995)
A movie based on a video game…brilliant, right? Mortal Kombat, a foray into the world of fighting for vengeance, is a terrible, terrible (and terribly long) film with lackluster special effects. Good thing they got some hot-ass chicks in there for good measure. Midriff-bearing eases the pain. Both Talisa and Bridgette play heroes, with heroically sparse costuming. Thanks, costume designers! Now I don’t quite want to gouge my eyes out.
#7
Britney Spears in Crossroads (2002)
Remember when Britney was hot and child-less? Me neither. Well, this film is good documentation. It’s sort of like a time capsule filled with tight, taught bodies showcased by the fresh-faced and tight-abbed Britney Spears. The best part? She plays the VALEVICTORIAN VIRGIN of her school. Karma is so cruel, Brit Brit. Good luck on the rest of your career, and lay off the fried chicken.
#8
Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls (1995)
Let’s include Kyle McLachlan too, for all the ladies out there. Nobody Nomi climes the sleazy showgirl ladder to become the baddest bitch around. But at what price? AT WHAT PRICE? This one has a lot of costumes, but also lots of “no costumes,” if you catch my drift. Who knew a “Saved By the Bell” Alum could be so hot?
#9
Halle Berry In Catwoman (2004)
This woman won an Oscar, for god’s sake! Really, Halle? Showing your boobies in that Travolta film wasn’t enough for you? Now you gotta go ruin some poor budding director’s career in the worst film ever? Well, not ever. But, close. Still, you look damn good in that leather getup. Eartha Kitt, only with more breast and less…soul.
#10
Lucy Liu in…EVERYTHING
Seriously, I don’t think this woman has EVER been in a good movie. Yeah, it’s fun to be hot and Asian, but still. It’s like her agent was just picking a script out of a sexy hat. Lucky, the world doesn’t need more Ballistick: Ecks vs. Severs, Charlie’s Angels, or Code Name: The Cleaners. I hope.